A Dancer in the Closet, according to the Urban Dictionary, is someone who is too shy to dance in front of people but loves dancing when no one is watching, in his/her bedroom.
Is this you?
It is me, at least sometimes…
Dancing is all about joy, feeling the music and finding a way to express emotion through movement and yet we can feel so ashamed of showing our moves in public.
Why is that?
It happens to most of us
I have been dancing for around 15 years and I thought I was confident enough to dance any style. I’ve taken countless hours of classes of different styles, including social dancing.
The dance style that I love the most is Contemporary, I also feel passionate about Tango and adore Ballet. Even when I am not the best, I feel great when I go to class or a Milonga and I never really understood why there are so many people self-conscious about dancing in public, it is so much fun!
Until one day I went to a different class, one that my friend was taking… a sexy class, that mixes urban styles, such as Wacking and Twerk and a lot of attitude and OH MY GOSH I FELT SO AWKWARD DURING THE ENTIRE CLASS!
I’ve always enjoyed dancing like that at home, just goofing around, trying to imitate movements from video clips and thought that I would be OK to do it in front of other people.
I was wrong.
There was an exercise where we had to do was walk with the music while being sexy. All the women there (and some men) were killing it, they were so fierce. Me, on the other hand, wanted to leave the room crying.
But I didn’t.
I pulled through. It took me a couple of months to readjust and actually enjoy this type of dance and feel confident dancing in front of other people. But I succeeded. And you can too.
We are afraid of making mistakes
For some reason, society has conditioned us to be afraid of making mistakes. Specially when we are adults
But here is the truth. You only learn by doing, you have to try anything many times until you finally see some progress. No one is born knowing how to dance perfectly!
So the way it works is… you are too self-conscious to dance in public because you are not good, but you can’t get good unless you try it, this means looking like a fool sometimes! So you don’t do anything. You stay ad home dancing by yourself because you think you are not good enough.
That is so limiting! You end up being a prisoner of your own mind.
How messed up is that?
And I m not judging. Not at all. That was me, afraid to dance and have fun in public while I have been dancing for so many years.
The good thing is once you realize that the power is within you, you realize that nothing is really stopping you and you can break free (you were already free, but you get my point).
You have to go all the way
I love working with children because they go all the way in everything they do. Whether it is acting, dancing, or playing with a box. They create this whole world and act the part. They don’t care if they are looking a little silly in front of other people.
This is, in my opinion, one of the reasons why children learn so fast, they are completely committed with the task at hand.
We should all try to be like children when it comes to dancing. Unleash that creativity you were born with!
After all it is so much more interesting looking at someone that looks crazy and having a blast than looking at someone that it’s kind of wanting to do something, kind of wanting to go home… you know that look!
Practice at home until you feel confident
If you don’t feel confident enough to show off your moves in front of other people yet, you may want to consider practicing at home first.
Luckily for us, this has never been easier! We can learn anything out of the internet nowadays, we can get access to full classes of any style at home.
You can either try learning on a free resource like YouTube, start an online course (Read my opinion on Online Courses here!) or just turn on the music and DANCE!
I personally love my Hip Shake Fitness subscription, because it is a great way of working out while learning some dance moves. They have amazing teachers and you can try the service FOR FREE.
Everyone is too busy looking at themselves
It is hard to re wire our brain. Sometimes it is so hard to let go and just dance for the sake of it, without paying attention to what others may think. Why is that? To be honest, I have no idea. Something to do with society?
The good news is that you have the power to change it.
Once you realize that no one is paying that much attention to you and that you are free to do whatever you want and move any way you want to, you start going for it.
I am not going to lie, sometimes there are people that can judge you. Don’t pay attention to them. They are just afraid.
I invite you to put on some music, get together with like-minded people and move your body freely. Don’t think too much about it.
If you need help finding a song… well, try the one I am listening to right now!
I hope you like it! Let me know in the comments below
A book you can read…
If you are interested in reading in a good read, I highly recommend Free Play, by Stephen Nachmanovitch.